you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize