is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
