there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Damn victory sex feels great
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
