Cold hands, warm shart.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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