You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
