Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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