a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
