OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
