hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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