i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
