I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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