it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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