She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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