I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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