well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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