Are we in a gay sports bar?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
