I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
