I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
