I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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