i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
