I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
