Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
