I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
