just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
