Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
