The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
