I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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