Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this beer tastes like vomit already
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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