I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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