I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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