oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
