i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
