Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
