Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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