This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize