so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
we should paint friendship bongs
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