I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
