i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
