Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
