I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize