sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you will always have a special place in my vag
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
