you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
