why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
