Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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