My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i now understand why vodka
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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