Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
