Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize