fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
