in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
and she was petting her beer can
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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