Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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