You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
