New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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