found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
