he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
