And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
