I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
