This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
