there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
