either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize