Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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