So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
