she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
