I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
